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I has taken some time to finish up paperwork because we wanted my brother’s body buried in Denmark.

The funeral yesterday was the most terrible day of my life. My mother is close to not functioning anymore. My father has lost weight. The entire ordeal has been very exhausting. I am happy that I have Janni at my side.

I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I could have saved my brother but didn’t because I overlooked the warning signs.

Was I too busy with my work and the damn NAV system? I cannot answer it. I am trying not to become too bitter and push Janni away from me because she has been a very good support for me.

I feel stuck. I feel that I cannot move on.